Communication is an integral part of everyone’s daily activities. Whether you are talking with co-workers, your family members, or by phone or e-mail, effective communication benefits everyone. The problem is, we are usually in such a hurry we don’t think about how what we are saying is being interpreted by the recipient. In fact, there may be times when what we intend is not what the person receiving the message hears. This is even more prevalent with e-mail.

Here are some areas to consider as you evaluate your communication style.

1. Be respectful to everyone: The best way to stop the communication flow is to be disrespectful to the person you are talking to. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, whether it is your boss, your kids, co-workers, the cleaning crew, etc. No one is better than anyone else – treat everyone as you would like to be treated. There is a side benefit here as well; you never know when you might need help, and you will be much more likely to receive it from people you were nice to in the past.
2. Listen: You have something you want to say and you know you are right. That may be, but you will destroy any chance you have for the other party to accept your viewpoint if you are rude and talk over them. You will gain much more cooperation from people if you listen to them and let them participate during your conversation.
3. Don’t be condescending: You may have a larger vocabulary than the person you are talking to or you may be an expert in a field, but you will gain no ground by talking over the person you are communicating with to make yourself feel more important. Again, the goal of communicating is to successfully convey your thoughts and ideas, that is pretty tough if the person you are talking to has no idea what you are talking about. It’s even worse if you are doing it just to make them feel stupid.
4. Make sure everyone is clear: At the end of the conversion do a quick recap to make sure everyone is on the same page regarding what was decided. If this is a work environment, you may want to summarize the conversation in a memo or e-mail afterwards and send it to all participants. That way no one can argue later that they didn’t understand. Be sure to keep all e-mails or memos you send out for your own records.
5. Be approachable: You may be the boss or the parent, but that doesn’t mean you have to be unapproachable. There may be times when one of your employees or children needs to initiate a conversation. Don’t make it a scary or stressful situation because they will be less likely to be forthcoming with information you need to know.

Remember, we are all trying to work together to come to understandings, which means our communication skills are very important. Take the time to assess your current communication skills and their affects on the people you interact with. It may be time for a little tweaking!

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Do you realize that we engage in some form or negotiation every day of our lives? Surprised? Think about it! Did you have to convince your kids to do their home work last night and get ready for school this morning? Did you discuss with your spouse who was going to make dinner tonight? Did you set completion goals for a new project at work? Did you talk with a disgruntled customer or employee today? How did it go? Did you achieve the results you desired?

These are all examples where a learned process of positive negotiation would be helpful. I was surprised the first time this was pointed out to me. I always thought of negotiation as a formal affair between high-powered professionals beating each other up to get what they wanted. That is a misconception held by many people. Every aspect of your life can be simplified just by understanding and implementing the essential elements of negotiation.

Here you will learn some of the essential negotiation elements to use when you are faced with situations that could become difficult if they’re not handled correctly.

1. Communicate Clearly

This is the most important element on the list. Your communication is the primary tool you have to express your thoughts, opinions and desires. If you don’t communicate effectively you will lose a critical advantage in your negotiations.

Also remember that speech is not the only form of communication. Your actions and body language, although silent, speak volumes. Make sure you are aware of how you are perceived by someone watching you. Your silent communications may be sending out a message entirely different from your intentions. A good way to identify this is to video tape yourself while speaking or during a meeting. You can also watch yourself in a mirror as you practice discussing the issues at hand.

2. Know your goals

Just like any project you start, it is important to know what your intended outcome or goals are at the end. Take some time before negotiating and decide what you want to achieve at the end of the negotiation. Additionally, think about what you are willing to give up to reach those goals. It is important to know your bottom line before the negotiation begins.

As you are making these decisions, remember your goals must be realistic. Stand in the other party’s shoes and think about whether your goals or requirements are something you could live with. If not, you must reassess your goals to be in line with what is realistic for you to achieve any success in your negotiation.

3. Treat everyone involved with respect.

Being the bully during a negotiation will not gain you any points. As soon as you start attacking the other parties, their defenses will go up and your chances of successful communication have been dashed. Instead, treat everyone involved with respect when addressing them, listen to what they are saying and take their situation into consideration.

Now, that doesn’t mean you should cave when someone doesn’t agree with you. It simply means that the goal is for everyone involved to act in a civilized and productive manner. Stand your ground, but do so without antagonizing the other parties involved.

Now that you have read these rules, take some time to consider your past negotiations. Have you been breaking any of these rules? How can you make changes to your current negotiation style to improve your results?

To your success,

Swanie Brandt

Most of us spend a good part of our day communicating with people. We may be talking to our kids, spouse or co-workers, or we may be talking to a classroom full of not-so-eager students. The way we communicate touches every aspect of our lives. In fact, we spend so much time communicating, we rarely take a step back to evaluate our communication skills.

 

Here is a list of 7 communication elements that everyone can use for self-assessment.

 

1. Your knowledge

To be an effective speaker, you must have experience in the field in which you are speaking. An effective speaker will not try to “snow”? everyone into thinking he/she is knowledgeable by using unfamiliar concepts or words no one understands. Effective speakers work very hard at delivering the content of their message in a manner their listeners can understand.

 

2. Listen

Listening is just as important as talking. Listen to what your audience is saying before you launch into your presentation. The epitome of rudeness is cutting people off in mid sentence because you assume “you are smarter than they are, and you already know what they are going to ask.”? You will gain many more fans by listening and treating people with respect.

 

3. Eye Contact

How often have you been listening to a group speaker or even talked to a co-worker, and they would not make eye contact? They look down, they look over or through you, but they will not look you in the eye. An effective speaker knows the power of eye contact.

 

4. Smile

When you are talking to a group, the first few moments of your presentation will set the stage as to how your audience feels about you. If you have a sour face or a frown, your audience will take an immediate dislike to you. A smile is very engaging and will draw your audience into your presentation. There are times when a full-out smile is not appropriate, but a menacing frown will derail the goals of any message.

 

5. Be yourself

There are very few of us who can get up in front of a group and not be self-conscious. That is human nature. Unfortunately, some people try to get over this by putting on a persona that is not their true self. Instead of putting up a false front, accept the fact that everyone is self-conscious when speaking to a group, and that practice is the only thing that will make it better. The more time you spend in front of people being yourself, the more comfortable you will feel.

 

6. Preparation

Preparation is a key component to effective speaking. The majority of people need to take time to prepare and practice what they will say. If you take some time to practice in front of a mirror, or video tape your presentation and then watch it, you will have the opportunity to prefect your delivery and proactively eliminate or mitigate any nervous habits you may have to prevent embarrassment later.

 

7. Learn from others

Are there people you have listened to and have found to be an effective speaker? How did you feel while you were listening to them? How do you feel about them and their message now? Take some time to think about how they applied the areas of communication listed above.

 

Effective communication skills are critical to the success of your business and personal life. You will realize a huge payback in all areas of your life by spending the time and energy perfecting your communication skills.

 

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